a touch of humanity

Dear God, thank you for every adversity, stumbling block, set back, and block you put in my path. i don't want a cush life. I want to be pushed to my limits. you are helping me remember who I once was. I want to realize when too much strength is a weakness, and find beauty in others. I want to not judge off surface anatomy, I want to listen to people's stories closer. Much more than a cardio IV Litman stethoscope could ever do. I pray for you to continue making me stronger by breaking me down. Thank you. I actually do pray for a hard life, in a way that I always remember you... Proverbs 30 The Words of Agur 1 The words of Agur the son of Jakeh,  even  the prophecy: the man spake unto Ithiel, even unto Ithiel and Ucal, 2 Surely I  am  more brutish than  any  man, and have not the understanding of a man. 3 I neither learned wisdom, nor have the knowledge of the holy. 4 Who hath ascended up into heaven, or descended? who hath gath...

..... instead of all of these tens of thousands of radical ideas and ways to change yourself for the better and this and that and self help self improvement improve yourself to improve the world realize that its all a fake a world the blue pill and why not... why not take the red pill.... why not... why not... why not... ... why not ... just trust in God ? :) 

only obsess over how you treat other people. at the end of the day, that's really the only thing that can really take you anywhere. the intricacies of the deep workings within us are just.. programmed like that, not very... easy to explain but if you really focus on how you treat other people and how to better yourself and them, you can never go wrong, it is very hard to stay in that state, though, forreal.

-although sounding awful at first, fault, blame, and responsibility rolled in together is the only way to understand the full picture of what reality actually is. -donkey carrying a pack on him the size of a mountain load. --This thought process is the only way you can actually change the now and the future.

it's been a long... almost 3 weeks. break ups are hard. i've been waking up to my nightmare everyday, living with it, going through all the emotions and finding an extraordinary amount of music (old and new) to help me cope and describe all of the complex feelings constantly coursing through my veins ................ and what i've found is that once you accept that it's all your fault, you take responsibility for every action and virtually, ideally everything that has ever gone wrong in your life, you can start to live with reality and with yourself, on a much more deeper level than i have described or imagined previously. You just have to keep on living through these things. These painful, hurtful, challenging, makes-you-want-to-kill-yourself, impossible, how am i gonna get out of this, situations............... and as long as you're living, you're doing fine, as long as you're fighting, even if it doesn't look like you're winning, as long as your...