it's been a long... almost 3 weeks. break ups are hard. i've been waking up to my nightmare everyday, living with it, going through all the emotions and finding an extraordinary amount of music (old and new) to help me cope and describe all of the complex feelings constantly coursing through my veins ................ and what i've found is that once you accept that it's all your fault, you take responsibility for every action and virtually, ideally everything that has ever gone wrong in your life, you can start to live with reality and with yourself, on a much more deeper level than i have described or imagined previously. You just have to keep on living through these things. These painful, hurtful, challenging, makes-you-want-to-kill-yourself, impossible, how am i gonna get out of this, situations............... and as long as you're living, you're doing fine, as long as you're fighting, even if it doesn't look like you're winning, as long as your...
