What I'm Learning
9/5/17
As much as I hate to say it, depression is a constant struggle.
I've gotten to know myself in so many more ways than I thought I would. And, at the same time, it's a similar kind of Struggle as before but it's not exactly.
11/5/17
This is me exactly 2 months ago, leaving off on my train of thought.
Now I think I know why it has been so hard for me to pick up and physically lift - to do something.
I think it's a very universal thing many humans face - a lot of what stops us, the haze, to want to act and do things is mostly lack of vision. It's lack of drive, a clear end goal.
Now, I'm just starting "this" thing but I will now have to state that I am a nerd. I am an anime nerd, I love dynamic stories, animation, cinematography... and it reminds of the time when Eren from Attack On Titan couldn't transform into his monstrous self to help his loved ones and save humanity. There was always something blocking him, even from avenging the Titan that killed his mom and set him on this path to become a soldier 5 years after, and that was doubt - ever so slightly.
Now I'm getting into many different things here that I want to explore more carefully, but this next statement is something that I've has been closer to more core recently (that my mentor had to use to extract me out of sheer, painfully deep, depression).
It's that no amount of negativity is useful. It never helps anyone strive toward their goal, to become stronger. All of those demon-like thoughts in your head the creep up oh so insidiously, actually never help you, but rather shackle you. Now in the future, I hope one day that I would not find myself from keeping to battle all of my personal demons, but rather flourish and not find it terribly hard to call upon my light side, all the good things I know in life, and that they dictate my actions instead of the demons.
Take your time to watch this. It's way worth your while.
The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. You won't regret it.
As much as I hate to say it, depression is a constant struggle.
I've gotten to know myself in so many more ways than I thought I would. And, at the same time, it's a similar kind of Struggle as before but it's not exactly.
11/5/17
This is me exactly 2 months ago, leaving off on my train of thought.
Now I think I know why it has been so hard for me to pick up and physically lift - to do something.
I think it's a very universal thing many humans face - a lot of what stops us, the haze, to want to act and do things is mostly lack of vision. It's lack of drive, a clear end goal.
Now, I'm just starting "this" thing but I will now have to state that I am a nerd. I am an anime nerd, I love dynamic stories, animation, cinematography... and it reminds of the time when Eren from Attack On Titan couldn't transform into his monstrous self to help his loved ones and save humanity. There was always something blocking him, even from avenging the Titan that killed his mom and set him on this path to become a soldier 5 years after, and that was doubt - ever so slightly.
Now I'm getting into many different things here that I want to explore more carefully, but this next statement is something that I've has been closer to more core recently (that my mentor had to use to extract me out of sheer, painfully deep, depression).
It's that no amount of negativity is useful. It never helps anyone strive toward their goal, to become stronger. All of those demon-like thoughts in your head the creep up oh so insidiously, actually never help you, but rather shackle you. Now in the future, I hope one day that I would not find myself from keeping to battle all of my personal demons, but rather flourish and not find it terribly hard to call upon my light side, all the good things I know in life, and that they dictate my actions instead of the demons.
Take your time to watch this. It's way worth your while.
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